Life is precious. And those living humans that don’t find life precious? Fuck ’em, they’re worthless, and deserve to be covered in dead pig blood, as a sign that no living animal deserves to be dead.
So you can imagine how shocked PETA was to learn that a man was a serial bug killer. When it came to PETA’s attention that a man was using ant poison, and fly swatters. What a worthless human being, right?
PETA tried to prosecute the man, but for some reason his neighbors refused to comment on his actions, that we all know they have witnessed. So PETA had to take drastic measures…
PETA used $10,000+ to buy several cameras which they placed around the mans house, waiting for him to commit another murder, so that they could prosecute. And luckily they did. On tape they caught this man–who in himself was a crime against humanity–murdering a beetle.
It was cold-blooded. All that kind little beetle was doing was laying eggs in his house. Did he deserve to die for that? No!
Thankfully this all happened in the great New York City where the judge ruled in PETA’s favor, and the man was given 6-8 month in prison, and a $1,200 fine. And when he finally gets out of prison he will be forced to attend PETA reformation meetings twice a week, for the next 3 years.
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H2DI Satire 